Last Ride to the vet Sept. 4 2001

Yesterday I had to take you for your final "Bye Bye in the car" this time you did not have the strength to sit in my lap with your tiny head against my chest while you sniffed all those strange smells from the open window, you Lay there in your bed with your head down I knew you were in pain your eyes could not even focus on me like you always did. Yet I felt so guilty could I do more. I brought you to the hospital the day before after you spent all day in pain the Vet put you on the floor and you had the strength to assume your shadow position behind me and you looked up at me and seemed to say Daddy please bring me home, So I did. I prayed so hard for you when we got home. Dear God please don't let any of my transgressions reflect this wonderful spirit you can have some of my health, I will do anything what do you want of me. I am sorry Little Girl my Prayer did not help you.

 As we continued too the Vet all I could tell you is your pain would soon end and that your first Mommy and Daddy would be waiting in heaven to greet you (Her first owners died an elderly couple it was evident how much they loved her by the things she would do and all her mannerisms. She would turn her head to the side and wait to be scooped up and held like a baby scratch her tummy and she was in ecstasy. I could see she was morning them when I first got her she did quickly gave me her unconditional love.) I still feel guilty Because I would grumble having to dedicate time to give you all those medication's or putting the pillow over my head some times not to hear you coughing at night. Now my house is silent and my time is abundant but so empty. I would give anything to be awakened by you and never would I grumble. When we finally got to the Vets office they were so kind but I could not put Her on that cold metal table so I held her Like a Baby making sure she knew I was there. They gave her the Anastasia and I held Her till she fell a sleep I kissed her little snout and said Good bye and said I am sorry. Her limp body gave me a feeling of Dread and I wanted to stop the Euthanasia I could not watch the final moments the Vet took Her from me.

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